I worked in the casino industry for 5 years in a supervisor capacity and one thing I learned early on was never to say “I’m sorry” to a customer with a complaint. In a customer’s mind, “I’m sorry” is the equivalent to “I owe you something”. As anyone in a supervisory capacity would know, not all complaints are worthy of a make good. More often than not, the complaint holds no merit and the customer simply wants to be heard so when you immediately approach a customer with “I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad experience, please tell me what occurred” they’re already going to tell you their story and expect you to give them something in return.
In my initial training, I was always taught that we need to immediately sympathize with the customer and apologize. What if the customer is complaining that they didn’t hear their name being called for winning the prize? What if they show up 2 minutes after the required time to appear for the prize? Do you apologize to them for not paying attention? Do you tell them it’s okay and that you can break protocol to make an exception? No.
I once had a gentleman come into the restaurant. He refused to look at a menu and ordered the “surf and turf” meal. It’s a $25 meal that is on the menu. When he received the bill, he flipped. You see, we advertise a “steak and lobster” meal for $13. This gentleman was clearly in the wrong for not wanting to see the menu but the waiter was also wrong for taking his order without asking if he meant the $13 meal or the actual $25 surf and turf. At this point, the gentleman wanted his meal free for the inconvenience. That wasn’t going to happen. He ordered a $25 meal, and he needed to pay for the $25 meal. This was the back and forth between the customer and the server upon my arrival. I approached the gentleman and instead of apologizing for any inconvenience (I received a brief summary before my arrival), I asked him to explain his dining experience with us. He, of his own accord, explained that he didn’t need to see the menu because he knew what he wanted to eat and ordered it. He said that the server took advantage of him and charged him for the more expensive meal instead of the $13 one. I asked if the server offered to run through the menu, he acknowledged that he had and that he had declined. I asked where he saw the meal was $13. He pointed to a sign that read “steak and lobster $13”. I then asked why he ordered “surf and turf” instead of the advertised “steak and lobster”. He said that to him, the two were interchangeable. I told him that entering a restaurant you’ve never been to and confidently ordering a dish doesn’t warrant placing the blame on the server for taking advantage. The server should have clarified but since he was so confident in his order, there wasn’t a need to question an already flustered customer. The customer took a step back and agreed. He asked to pay the full bill. Now, for his cooperation, I issued him a voucher for his next visit valued at $25, the cost of his steak meal. He did not ask for it, nor did he expect it. This was a make good on my part for him understanding his stake in the problem and my acknowledging that the server did have a momentary lapse in judgement. Also, it guarantees that the gentleman would return for a future visit, maybe even with a paying friend. There were no apologies exchanged, no expectations made and the situation was fully resolved with words of understanding and 2 happy parties. He even left a tip!
The point in the above scenario is the fact that the gentleman was irate upon my arrival and irrationally asking for a free meal and after a conversation, with zero apologies, we came to a resolution. I strongly feel that if I had opened with an apology to the effect of “I apologize that you had an unpleasant dining experience today, can you elaborate on what happened for me?” I would have validated his feeling swindled and led him to expect something in return and it would be my own fault because of my choice of words.
When I initially started, it was always an apology first then listen and I almost always had to comp something in order to mediate the situation. The day I decided to stop apologizing was the day that I not only resolved issues, but continued to issue comps for future visits. You see, if you comp a customers visit for a poor experience, they may be happy in the moment that they were justified in their feelings and received a comped meal, but the situation ends there and they may keep that experience in their head and not return. Now, if I find a resolution without a comp and then issue a comp for a future visit, now I have left a positive note in the customers mind and issued a comp to guarantee a future visit. Win-win! So the other take away from this lesson is to issue comps as a courtesy or a “bonus” after the fact rather than to immediately jump to comping their current experience and forego a future visit from them. Food for thought!
Again, this does not mean that customers do not always deserve an apology, sometimes they do. But in my experience, if the customer deserves an apology, someone usually is going to receive a reprimand or even a termination for the situation at hand. That’s how rare my issuing of apologies have been since I have implemented this practice. I have told my employees in the past that the words “I’m sorry, or I apologize” are forbidden until the arrival of a supervisor who can choose to utter those words, if required.
Try it! Let me know if this practice works for you or if its just bad advice. I can almost guarantee that this practice will change your work experience.
Althea Frye 